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The people who gave us GOLF and called it a game are the same people who gave us bagpipes and called it music.
Some say it's an acroynon for Gentlemen Only, Ladies Forbidden.
Golf. You hit down to make the ball go up. You swing left and the ball goes right. The lowest score wins. And on top of that, the winner buys the drinks.
The sport of choice for the urban poor is basketball. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is bowling. The sport of choice for front-line workers is football. The sport of choice for supervisors is baseball. The sport of choice for middle management is tennis. The sport of choice for corporate officers is golf. Conclusion: The higher you are in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become.
Fifty years ago, 100 white men chasing one black man across a field was called the Ku Klux Klan. Today it's called the PGA Tour - Alex Hay,
golf commentator
Sport Celebrities Comments on Golf
It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course. - Hank Aaron, baseball's home run king
One of the advantages bowling has over golf is that you seldom lose a bowling ball. - Don Carter, professional bowler
Golf Comedians' comments on Golf
You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work. - Lee Trevino
Why am I using a new putter? Because the old one didn't float too well. - Craig Stadler
After all these years, it's till embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back 10 minutes later with a ham on rye. - Chi Chi Rodriguez
Trevino is in a league by himself. We don't even count him. We figure when you come in second, you're a winner. - Chi Chi Rodriguez
His nerves. His memory. And I can't remember the third thing. - Lee Trevino, on the three things that go as a golfer ages.
In case of a thunderstorm, stand in the middle of the fairway and hold up a one iron. Not even God can hit a one iron. - Lee Trevino
I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced. - Lee Trevino
I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone's golf game: it's called an eraser. - Arnold Palmer
I'm hitting the woods just great, but I'm having a terrible time getting out of them. - Harry Toscano
Pressure is playing for $10 when you don't have a dime in your pocket. - Lee Trevino
Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps. - Tiger Woods
